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He Sets the Captives Free

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posted by Fadi J. alias 001FJ on Thursday 27th of March 2008 06:01:18 AM

I am going to talk about a topic most would consider to be very sensitive and that is pornography. So if you don’t feel comfortable reading about it please stop whenever you like to. Of course I will talk about it from my personal experience. I will try not to focus on porn or talk about it in details, as my goal is not to assist others to indulge in sin but to glorify God for the freedom He has given me. I will start by talking about the photo first. First of all I want to say that talking about being addicted to porn is not easy. I had considered talking about for some time but didn’t really want to do so. So I decided, like I do often, is to lie down and talk to God and think about why I didn’t want to write about it. The reason was simple: I didn’t want people to have a bad idea about me. The final point was: I wanted to keep my image “clean” like so many of us Christians like to do. However, after some thought I came to this conclusion: 1) I was born a sinner and I am as sinful in my nature as anybody else ever lived on earth, so there is no point in acting like I am better than anybody else. 2) I am who I am because of who I am in Christ, and that’s because of His perfect and finished work on the Cross: His death for my sins. Not because of anything good in me or about me. 3) When I accepted Jesus I basically gave Him ownership over me. In other words, there is no more “my reputation”, “my name”, “my this” and “my that”. Everything belongs to Him now. Of course I thought that I could simply avoid talking about this topic and “act” as if there is something special about me. But the truth is that He is special and I am special only because the Holy Spirit, who is special, lives in me. 4) For Christ to be lifted through me I must be lowered. For Him to be glorified I must tell the world about who I was before Christ. 5) I didn’t want to be a hypocrite! Of course, as we all know, being a hypocrite is much easier than a lot of things in life. (And believe me it is much easier to be a hypocrite than to live the Christian life, but only through living the Christian life we can find true fulfillment in Jesus.) But if I claim that I belong to Christ and that my identity is wrapped up in who I am in Him, a prince and a child of the living and holy One, then I have to act upon this claim. Otherwise I am simply being a hypocrite. I cannot say that my value and worth are in Him, when I value myself in how others see me. So I will start my story now… When I was in my teens back home, and I would be taking the bus in the evening sometimes I would look at my hand and be completely amazed by the orange sun light reflecting off of it, especially the amount of details God has put in the skin! And because I like to draw, shadows have always amazed me. Until now I try to emphasize shadows and contrast in my photos. So a couple of days ago I was studying when it was sunset and I looked at my hand and again I loved the amount of details in the skin. So I took few photos and after some editing, I realized this photo can be very fitting to talk about Jesus Christ’s favour in setting us free from sin. So here is my final product. I hope you like it. (Special thanks to Gimp!) I didn’t soak the hand with orange colour and dark shadows because I want to talk about a light that’s brighter than the sun’s: the light of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. That’s why I kept the light white. I was not familiar with pornography until I came to Canada, and especially after I bought my first computer. Like so many others I started watching porn because of curiosity. I accepted Jesus in my life before I came to Canada though. Being still an immature Christian, spiritually like a few days old infant, I was an easy prey to Satan’s lies. Then porn turned to more than just curiosity—it became a habit. Then from a habit it became an addiction. It pretty much consumed hours of my daily life, and all my energy. It cost me a lot in school as my marks dropped dramatically. My relationship with God was reduced to “hi” and “bye”! I tried to quit many times but I couldn’t. I knew it was wrong but by then it was too strong of an addiction to break free from. I hated it and loved it at the same time. I hated it because it ruined every aspect of my life. I loved it because I was emotionally dependent on it: it was my idol. (For more on Idols you might be interested in reading: www.flickr.com/photos/001fj/2334638980/ Pornography was a very strange affair. I mean, when I went out I tried not to lust after women but when I came home I entertained the worst thoughts for hours! One of the worst things about porn is that it gets worse overtime. You never start at a low level and stay there; you stoop to lower levels because after a while those materials are not satisfying anymore. Can you imagine the helplessness people who are addicted to porn feel? Can you imagine the feeling of entrapment? Can you imagine not only seeing yourself in a very bad situation but also seeing yourself heading toward a worse situation and you are going by your own will simply because you couldn’t resist doing the thing that is hurting you and eventually will destroy you! It is like standing in a hole and digging it to make it deeper and deeper and deeper. One summer break I spent it pretty much editing photos using Photoshop and listening to Dr. Charles Stanley. In one sermon he was talking about how God sets us free and the bottom line was that we have to: 1) Realize and admit our situation and helplessness 2) Trust that God can free us 3) Surrender ourselves, lives and hearts to Him So I tried it. I went to pray and told God all those three points and I meant them—I truly believed and knew that I couldn’t free myself from this sin, and I knew that God was a good God who loved me and cared about me….but, I didn’t know how to surrender! I mean if I was in a war then I could take a piece of white cloth and put it on a stick, raise it up and walk toward the enemy. They would see the white piece of cloth and would know that I am surrendering, but how do you do that spiritually? I mean, it is more than words just as in the scenario of the battlefield above: I have to raise (action word) the stick, and walk (another action word) toward the enemy. But how do you surrender spiritually? Needless to say after that prayer I went back to pornography as if I had not even prayed it! I knew Dr. Stanley is a godly man so I knew he wouldn’t teach something false, but I simply didn’t know how to apply it. So I kept trying to break free from pornography using all methods I knew from self-control (emphasis on the word “self”; I am not talking about the self-control we have by focusing on Christ and putting Him first in our lives), to using filters to always keeping the windows and door open, etc…nothing worked. God wasn’t completely silent in those couple of years when I was addicted to porn. I can recall some other time when God completely cut all communication with me until I obeyed Him in a certain matter (thank God He did that!), but that was not the case in those two years. I think God knew that I was helpless against breaking free from porn. He knew I was too young spiritually to abandon me completely to my weakness and leave me completely at Satan’s mercy (as if he has any!) A particular scary moment was when one night after indulging in sin for hours I stood and planned to go carry out a sinful act. After a couple steps it was as if God slapped me so hard that He woke me up from a nightmare; the only thing is that I was not dreaming--it was real life! I had so foolishly bought Satan’s lies to the degree that I was going to carry them out! I froze and couldn’t move for few seconds because it was as if God had blocked my way. Then I realized that I was basically a slave of Satan if I kept believing what he told me. I was like a zombie having all sense sucked out of me and so dead in my sins. Nothing can explain God's intervention in that moment better than this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_SjhKJgqGg I also realized that I was not so different from Ted Bundy or any other serial killer and rapist. I was a step away from going that road if it wasn’t for God mercy, grace, love and compassion. I can never be thankful enough for Him for intervening in that moment. We were all born sinners, and according to God holiness that demands divine justice we all deserve the death penalty. That’s why our Lord had to die for our sins to be forgiven. So please, next time you hear about a criminal so “evil” ask yourself those two questions: 1) Can Jesus’ blood forgive all his sin? Yes, or no? 2) Can God change him? Yes, or no? The answer is yes to both questions. (Check this man’s testimony if you like to: www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIfQ-aBham4 One time I managed to stay away from pornography for 18 days! I was so happy but when I fell to sin again I was more miserable than ever before! I knew that I couldn’t do better than that. That was about half a year after listening to Dr. Stanley’s message. So sometime in March of 2003 I went to pray at night. And I basically told God that I had enough and that I wasn’t going to pray anymore. I was ending my relationship with Him! I didn’t know better at the time that He paid a high price to adopt me into His family and He wasn’t just going to let me go! I was so tired of pretending that my religion works when it didn’t! I became a Christian not looking for a religion, but because the God of the Bible was so real I wanted to know Him…I wanted to experience what He did and said He would do. But it was not working! It was also so repulsive to me to come pray to God when I had so disgustingly disobeyed Him! It was like lusting after women all day long then going home and kissing my wife and pretending that everything is “fine”, (by the way, it is NOT “fine” with God and His opinion is the only opinion that matters if not now then later!). I simply couldn’t carry a relationship with a Holy God when I was so steeped into sin. I was crying when I told Him “good-by” because I had really wanted Christianity to work since it was the only faith that held its own claims and its God was so real that it would require more faith for me not to believe in Him than to believe in Him! (How much faith does it take to believe in gravity? None, because we know it exists! That’s the same case with our God.) So I told Him that I don’t care anymore. I give up. I can’t break free from pornography’s hold on me, and He isn’t helping me. So I give up and won’t try to resist porn anymore. I was too tired to try to please a God who wasn’t willing to help me with my burdens. I don’t remember exactly what day it was that I prayed that prayer but I know it was in the last 10 days of March, 2003. So I stood up and thought that was the end…that all those prayers I had prayed and He answered, the peace He has given me, the joy, and the awesome awareness of His presence I had experienced before…were all things I had imagined. Next day I didn’t watch porn, and I thought because I was busy with school work. The day after I didn’t watch porn either and I thought because the whole week was a busy week with school work! After a week I realized that I didn’t watch porn for the last week nor did I think about it or desired to watch it! That’s when it hit me: I was free! Hallelujah, Jesus set me free! Christianity works! My wonderful God is real! Everything He did before was real! So I went to pray again, and asked Him what I should do now! He put on my heart to go to www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/our_courses.php and register! So I did, and went through the online program for 2 months. And I have been free from pornography since that March night until today. I had a friend in high school was struggling with pornography too. He was from Pakistan and when I told him that I was free he didn’t understand how. I couldn’t explain it more to my friend than the blind man, whom our Lord Jesus healed, answered in John 9:25: He replied, "…One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!" It took me a while to realize that the Biblical principle in Dr. Stanley’s sermon works! What I did in that prayer is simply I gave up: surrendered. I stopped trying to do it in my own strength. I stopped trying to fight God’s war for Him. I stopped trying to earn His favour. I stopped trying to win my way according to my timing. I ceased striving. If you read Gideon’s story, the story Dr. Stanley based his sermon outlines on, you will realize God did the same thing with Gideon and His army. I truly encourage you to read it. You can find it in the book of Judges. Why did God free me this way? Well there are many reasons, here are some: 1) He wants to bring Himself the glory. If we do it on our own and succeed what does that tell the world about Him? Nothing. Then I could’ve written this whole story without a mention of Him. But the fact is I couldn’t break free from pornography on my own in a million years. It was all His work. 2) He desires to grow our faith. My faith wouldn’t have grown in a God that stands idle while I did everything myself. But now I know He is more than able to do everything He said will do. 3) God wants us to trust Him and know that He can handle His own affairs and wars. It is good to defend God and fight for Him, but we must let Him fight His own battles so the world to know that He is a mighty and powerful God, and that He is real. Let me ask you some questions: if you are always fighting for your god, protecting it, speaking on its behave, defending it, what makes you think it is a real god? If your god can’t speak, what makes you so convinced it could create your mouth? If your god can’t fight its own battles against evil, what makes you think it can give you victory? If your god can’t defend itself, what makes you think it can protect you? 4) For others to see, hear, believe and come to know Him. If I was able to free myself from porn by myself, how would that draw people to Him? You can say whatever you want about God. You can say that you don’t like Him. That you don’t believe in Him. You can say that you would rather live your life without Him, and spend eternity in Hell than in Heaven with Him. But you can’t tell me that I was not addicted beyond human hope to pornography and He freed me from it. You can’t tell me that my God isn’t real or that He is dead. You can’t tell me that my God is not powerful, or that He doesn’t love me and cares about me. I remember a couple of years ago I was waiting for the bus (isn’t it strange how I realize a lot of things while waiting for the bus!), and thought to myself, “What is so horrible about pornography anyway?” (That was a couple of years after God freed me from it!) Then suddenly I had this very empty feeling in my chest when I remembered how spiritually thirsty I was when I was addicted to porn. I remember how horrible it felt to chase after something that does not satisfy and that it leads to more chasing…but it still does not satisfy! Ever since then until now, I would like to think that I have a healthy fear of pornography, and sin in general. (Remember, God created fear to protect us, just like pain. But how we view fear and respond to is what makes the difference between a protective fear and an enslaving fear.) Of course, porn’s destruction is much more than the chasing after something that does not satisfy. But I won’t go into how much it has actually ruined countless lives, because many websites and statistics are available for those who are truly seeking to know the truth about porn’s destructive power. 1 John 4:4 says: “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” It is sad how many Christians have opinions about sin that are not based on God Word. I read things such as, “It is my motives that count…so even though I do this and that, I do them without lusting…” Really? Where does the Bible teaches that? When our Lord talked about motives he was talking about fasting, praying, and giving to the poor not about sin! You can’t sin with pure motives! It doesn’t make sense! You can fool me, and you can fool your church congregation! But how can you live with yourself knowing that you are lying to yourself! And how are you going to fool God? Rather, how are you going to face Him? And some Christians even say “it is natural to do so and so”. Yes, you are correct, but since when does the Bible talk about our nature as if it is holy! Our nature is corrupt and sinful, so why do we say “natural” as if it is a good thing! It is natural to get angry and want to get revenge; it is natural to lie when accused of something; it is natural to cheat when we want to get our way…but what does the Bible teach about all those examples of “natural behaviour”? They are all sin and do not fit us as sons and daughters of the living God! No, I am not talking about people who are addicted to drugs, porn, alcohol, and so on. I am not even talking to the unbelieving world here. I am talking to us, Christians. I truly believe that there is a huge difference between someone who is sinning—because he or she are addicted to a certain sin, regardless of how they got themselves into this mess—but they absolutely hate that sin and want to be free from it, and between someone who knows he is sinning but has no problem with it--welcomes sin in his life. I am going to say something here that I think will make a lot of people dislike me, but I am going to say it anyway and hope that you take it with an attitude knowing that I am not judging anybody here: If you are a woman who has Christ in her life, please re-consider the way you dress. Not according to my standards, or the church you attend. Certainly not according to the standards of the latest fashion or to “that is the only thing available in stores nowadays”. Don’t go to someone else asking their opinion or read an article about it. Go directly to God’s Word and ask God directly, and if you are honestly seeking to follow Him He will show you His way. But I must warn you: once He makes His will clear you won’t have peace until you obey Him. You might be wondering why I am talking about women’s dressing in a topic about porn! Well, men are very visual so they sin by lusting (even women do that, but I am not sure they do so as much as men do) and so porn is a naturally attractive sin to them. Women desire to feel beautiful, desired, wanted and so she tries to meet those need by dressing in a way that attracts men’s attention. And that’s how she gets her momentarily (short-lived: like all the promises Satan makes in regard to sin) emotional high by noticing a man looking at her. But what I want to ask you is this: if you go home and you are all by yourself and have nothing to do, how do you feel: empty, far from your heavenly Father; or peaceful and your heart is flowing with love and adoration for Him? Causing to Sin, Mark 9:42-50: "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck. If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, where " 'their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.' Everyone will be salted with fire. "Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other." If you are a man who has Christ in his life, please take some time, be quiet with God, and think about where you were yesterday spiritually, where you are today, and where you are heading tomorrow! Evaluate your life. Evaluate your ways. Seek to know God better. Make decisions, daily decisions, to live for Him. Live a pure life starting with your heart and mind. Think about your future wife (or present wife), think about your kids. You are going to be the leader of the house who represents Christ to the whole household! Will they see Him through you? Or will your daughters grow up thinking that they have to look beautiful, sexy, and act in certain ways to get a man’s attention and love? Think about God’s awesome and wonderful purpose that He desires to accomplish through you. Think about God’s reputation among the people who know you. Please don’t settle for less. We are not going to be given another chance after this life! “Just as man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment” (Hebrews 9:27) If you realize you are sinning against God while you are on your way home then repent right away and seek to follow Him! It is never too late to make a decision to live for Him, even if you just realized that at the end of the day. Daily surrender yourself to Him if that’s what it takes for you to live a pure and blameless life. I will stop here. All I ask is that if you claim to believe something about God put it into practice. Whether in regard to your identity in Him, your personal agendas vs. His plans and purposes, or if you claim to believe that Christ died for someone else’s sin then why not forgive them? Remember, John 13:17: “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” What things? The things that are written in God’s Word, and the Holy Spirit reveals to you. And don't ever lose focus of this fact: all things are done through His goodness, grace and mercy—it, life here on earth and eternal life, is all about Him. However, for Him: it is all about you. It is the "Lord's favour" and not our own works whether in being saved or the power to live for Him: it is all about His grace. Nothing But the Blood www.youtube.com/watch?v=wej1jHtiH-M (Toronot, ON; winter 2008.)



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