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Atonement

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posted by alias Her Royal HIGHness.. Queen Emmikins on Sunday 1st of April 2012 08:28:00 PM

A lot of you know this man as Aiden Lexenstar and he's built quite the reputation for himself in the SL porn world. But for the last year and a half I've known the real man, albeit under another name. About a year ago I found out about Aiden and confronted him, of course he denied it all and as many people do when confronted with information they don't want to believe is true, I chose to put my beliefs aside and move forward with our relationship. Deep in my heart I knew the truth but the avatar disappeared from search a few days later and I told myself the worst was over and my love for him was strong enough to overcome this small obstacle. Then in November thanks to a pic done by one of my contacts, Ehl Genesis, I discovered Aiden's flickr and my world crumbled. Aiden's avatar was like the fraternal twin of the avatar of the man I knew and loved with all my heart and the storyline descriptions in the pics were things he'd said to me often. He used the same AO, wore the same sort of accessories, dressed eerily similar and even hung out with a few avs that he had known when we first got together.. which in and of itself was not much but coupled with everything else I had discovered it was all just brick after brick in the wall of truth that was coming to light. I struggled with all this information and decided to confront him again and yet again he managed to make me feel as if it was all in my head and I cried myself to sleep night after night because in my heart i knew the truth.. the man I loved and had given my heart to had betrayed me and he had betrayed me at a time when I was most vulnerable. The reason he had ample time to 'be' Aiden was because I was late in my pregnancy (when I met him I was in an unhappy marriage and had just gotten pregnant though I didn't find that out until a few wks later) and then had a baby. I was exhausted and trying my hardest to juggle it all and make sure I was still giving him all the attention he deserved but it was hard and I had to sleep sometime. Well while I slept he was out building a name for himself in the sl porn industry. He was the worst kind of selfish at a time where I needed his understanding and loyalty the most and that part is hard to get past. For the longest time I struggled with how to unearth the truth once and for all. At first I decided to bring MY secret alt out of retirement, I mean come on most of us have alts and some that are complete secrets, and use her to get to Aiden. This is where Lyra came into play. The problem was I was too damn exhausted at the end of the day to stay up, log on as Lyra and be sneaky lol. I did get Aiden to friend Lyra and that gave me a modicum of satisfaction but in the end I realized it was gonna take me ages to get the truth this way so I had to change tactics (and knowing now that the av was shared by him AND his brother I'm damn glad I decided against my original plan. I mean how fucked up would it have been if I had pixel banged my bf's brother thinkin it was him in alt form LOL. Sheesh I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone). Finally I decided to use the old cop tactic of pretending to have more evidence than you really do and a few nights ago I got up the nerve to confront him for the last time. It didn't take much, he confessed rather easily and I know why. He knows what he did was wrong and he wanted me to catch him plain and simple. And I did. And now comes the hardest part of all.. healing. You may think I'm a fool or that I have very little self respect for myself but you would be wrong. I just love him. Unconditionally and with everything that I am and no matter what has happened and what anyone else thinks I KNOW that he loves me too. And since the confrontation he has done nothing but prove to me how much. He is my best friend and the bond between us is so strong. There is no excuse for what he did and I hate it but I don't hate him because I feel that real love, true undying love cannot be shattered so easily and all relationships have their ups and downs and require work and you can't just give up and run for the hills anytime things get rocky. Don't get me wrong, it will take years for him to earn back my trust and even then this will always be in the back of my mind. I will forgive but I will NEVER forget. Judge me if you will, you can think I'm a fool for giving him another chance, I really don't care. What he did was wrong but to me it was not unforgivable because I know with every fiber of my being the kind of man he really is and what it comes down to is I don't want a life without him. Period. He's at his heart a good man, a kind man and a loving man. He's young and he screwed up, we all make mistakes but what matters is what you take from it. What you learn and whether you grow as a person. I believe he deserves a second chance.. but I'm gonna make him crawl through fire to get me back and this pic is just step one in his atonement. I want EVERYONE to know what he's done and who Aiden really is.. he's Cameron Batista and I love him with all my heart.



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  • Published 12.07.21
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