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The Devil Went To Jamaica

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posted by Cormack Rhyan Owle-Mysterious alias Cormack Owle-Mysterious on Thursday 18th of November 2021 03:11:18 AM

One fine day in Hell, The Devil cultivated one of his finest grows of marijuana yet! And what was The Devil to do with such a fine grow? Why, sell it of course! What better way to steer those humans wrong than to sway them with "The Devil's lettuce?" But where would he go to sell it? Then it suddenly hit him: Jamaica! So up to the hot, sunny island of Jamaica The Devil went! A couple of hours later, The Devil was chilling on the beach under an umbrella on his favorite pot leaf towel. Word had gotten out about the horned fellow selling excellent weed, and people had started lining up! Bag after bag, the marijuana sold and soon the line was starting to dwindle. While relaxing back, The Devil glanced along the down the beach. It was then that he noticed a young man a short distance away with a backpack kneeling with a small crowd of people as they lounged around on the beach. The Devil watched as he was handed some cash. Then sure enough, the young man whipped out a small bag of what was clearly marijuana and was handing it to one of the guys in the crowd. 'Oh Hell no! The Devil thought as he pursed his lips. Tapping his rainbow penis bong with air of annoyance, he pondered what to do with this boy and how to get rid of him. How dare he come and take away from his business! Surely he, The Devil, had a far more superior marijuana to offer. Then The Devil grinned wickedly as a brilliant idea came to mind! He'd make sure there would never be doubt on this beach ever again! Laughing and slapping his customer's shoulder as he completed the sale, Johnny was feeling fucking fantastic! He'd made several sales today; many from satisfied repeat-customers. The stuff he was peddling was some of his best grow yet and word was getting around! 'This weed's the bomb!' Johnny thought to himself. 'I bet even the Devil couldn't grow shit this good!' As he walked away from the small group of people, Johnny looked up to be greeted with the smug, grinning face of a man he'd never seen before. Johnny blinked, staring into the man's gleaming red eyes. 'Is it just me or are his eyes Not like blazed red. Though they ARE blazed red too...' Johnny thought before his gaze lifted to the two horns protruding from his forehead. He blinked hard and slowly. Yep, they were still there. That meant....wait...were they real?! Looking him over, realization began to set in Johnny's eyes as he realized The Devil was...actually here, blazed as all fuck and looking like some...stoner demon Daddy. The Devil watched as the boy's eyes shifted from his horns back to his eyes, realization clearly upon his face. With a sly smile, the Devil slid right up next to Johnny and put his arm around his shoulders. "Boy, lemme tell you what!" came The Devil's cocky voice as he began to lead the astonished boy along the beach back towards his set up. "I guess you kinda figured I'm a reefer head of course. After all this time I guess that I'm a connoisseur of sorts." Johnny nodded, following along. So The Devil really was a stoner too! But as The Devil leaned back and sniffed the air over Johnny's shoulder, he felt a little annoyed as The Devil gave him a sort of look that indicated uncertainty. "Now your stuff smells okay, but this could tranquilize a horse!" He held up his free hand and in it appeared a large jar of his top shelf quality marijuana, generously decorated with a dusting of trichomes and the brightest orange hairs Johnny had ever seen! Johnny's eyes widened in amazement as The Devil's eyes flashed red. "I bet a million in cash against your stash cause I think mine's better than yours!" Johnny's eyes widened, stopping in his tracks as he stared at The Devil. Was he for real?! It...seemed so. Johnny looked at the jar in The Devil's hand. With a smirk, Johnny lifted his gaze and stared defiantly into The Devil's eyes. Feeling bold and confident about his own phenomenal bud, he stated, "My name's Johnny, and you ain't smoked nothing yet! One hit of this grass'll kick your ass! You got yourself a bet." The Devil stared at the young man for a long second and then let out a boisterous laugh. He slapped Johnny on the back and continued to lead the way to his umbrella. "Right this this way, Johnny. By the way, did you know this is the kind of stuff they smoked in Vietnam?" It was only a minute later that The Devil and Johnny were settling side on the pot leaf towel. The Devil had already had a nice set up with a box of rolled joints, some doobies, lots of extra papers, and a rather colorful rainbow penis bong. Johnny set his bag aside and drew out his own pipe and extra papers with a big, cheesy stoner grin. Next, they both set out their million in cash and it was time for the game to begin! Johnny hoped that the weed hadn't gotten his confidence up too high and he could cope with whatever The Devil had brought...or else the Devil was gonna get his dope! The Devil held out his hand and a large bong appeared. With a wicked gleam in his eyes, he packed it with Acapulco Gold as his prized marijuana was named. The snapped his fingers and resin flew from his fingertips as his thumb lit on fire, Johnny watching eagerly. The Devil brought the flame to the bowl, inhaling deep and hard as the chamber filled all the way with smoke! He took a mighty hit and even Johnny couldn't help but stare with wide eyes at the massive amount of smoke! "Holy shit..." The Devil wheezed after he took a second hit. He reached over and offered the bong to Johnny who took gladly and chuckled, "Interesting choice of words there, Devil." The Devil cackled as Johnny snickered and snatched up his lighter. A moment later, Johnny lit the bowl and took a huuuuuge hit as well! "Oh shit!" Johnny said before exhaling, blowing out just as much smoke as The Devil had! The Devil laughed as Johnny took his second hit and passed the bong back. And as they began to pass it back and forth, out of nowhere they both were hit with a wicked coughing fit! "Damn!" The Devil coughed. For nearly half a minute, they coughed and coughed! People passed by, whispering to each other as The Devil and Johnny seemed to be dying quite happily side by side! Then in true stoner fashion, as soon as they could breathe again, the bong was getting passed back and forth! At one point, as he passed the bong back to Johnny, The Devil's phone dinged a couple of times with text messages, the sounds of someone's tortured scream with each message that came in. He looked at it before laughing obnoxiously. Then very suddenly he stopped with air of superiority and tucked the phone into the front of his shorts, not bothering to respond. Johnny blinked and as he exhaled from his last hit. He cleared his throat and handed the bong back over as he asked curiously, "What was THAT about?" "Pfft, nothing I can't deal with later! I'm busy winning a million smackaroos here! Besides, it wasn't from anyone really fucking important or anything." The Devil shrugged nonchalantly and readied the bong before he flicked his finger for a flame. He added casually as could be, "Its just God." With that, he took yet another huuuuuge rip from his bong as Johnny just stared with eyes wide eyes as red as a stoplight, jaw dropped and absolutely at a loss for words! The Devil glanced at him, staring him deadpan in the face for a long few seconds before he suddenly began laughing his ass off all over again! Johnny gave a nervous chuckle as he reached out for the bong. As they smoked the rest of the bowl, their eyes grew redder and redder and their shit eating grins grew bigger and bigger! Finally the last of the green was hitting them both and they were feeling fucking great as could be! Johnny smirked as he leaned back against the cooler a short time later, glancing over at his smoking partner. His boldness was returning as he decided now was the time to hit the Devil with his own phenomenal bud. He leaned over for his bag and began rummaging through. Finally, he found what he was looking for: his own personal stash! He cleared his throat and turned his attention to The Devil beside him. "Hey, man, that stuff was great!" He lifted the bag, grinning like a fool and declared, "But fill your lungs with some of this and prepare to vegetate!" The Devil tipped his red glasses down the bridge of his nose as he eyed whatever it was that Johnny owned. Sure enough it couldn't be better than what he, The Devil, had cultivated. However, the longer he stared, the more he took in about this phenomenal bud and his eyes widened! The stuff that Johnny had in the bag was dark and dense and held the perfect touch of sticky moisture which could be seen through the bag! Furthermore, the red hairs and trichomes that decorated the buds just made the bud shine so beautifully in the sun. It was at that moment that The Devil felt the first brush of doubt he'd felt in a long, long time! He'd never seen a bud like this! But secretly he was just as equally eager to try it! There was no way he was going to let Johnny see his moment of weakness. The Devil lifted his gaze and smirked, shoving his glasses back up the bridge of his nose some more as he leaned back and said nothing. He gazed out towards the waves as if he gave zero fucks. In his peripheral vision, he watched as Johnny withdrew his dank, sticky bud from the small bag. Even in the light, the Devil could fucking see the sunlight reflecting off the tiny, bright trichomes! It only took Johnny a minute to quickly grind it up. Then he packed the bowl with an equal amount of bud as The Devil's bud they'd previously used. Johnny grinned and reached over, boldly nudging The Devil with the bong in silent invitation. The Devil's eyes widened as his gaze snapped towards the boy who dared nudge him. Seeing his cheeky grin and how he offered the bong, The Devil's gaze lowered to the bong as the smell from its bowl suddenly HIT him full force! It was...unlike any other skunky, dank marijuana aroma he'd ever smelled before! Inhaling deeply, The Devil fought back a groan of excitement as he took the bong. Snapping his fingers, his thumb lit on fire as he brought it to the bowl to take his first hit. He began to inhale deeply as he heard the moist crackle of the beautiful bud torching under his flame. Then the first delicious taste of the smoke hit the tip of his tongue and moved across his tastebuds. Then he felt the smoke fill his lungs, his body filling with the most sensational, tingly warmth imaginable! And that was the last thing The Devil remembered. A couple of hours passed and soon, it was early evening. The Devil blinked awake, squinting as he looked around. He was laying out on the towel and had apparently fallen asleep. He'd...he'd fallen asleep! "Fuuuuuck," The Devil groaned as he pushed himself to sit up once again next to Johnny. Johnny smugly grinned at The Devil, sparking up a newly rolled fat doobie filled with some of his phenomenal bud. He took a deep hit, holding the doobie between his fingers as he exhaled slowly. With his free hand, he held out his hand expectantly. It was only a moment later that he felt the stacks of The Devil's money be set in his hand. The Devil sighed as he turned away from Johnny, knowing that he'd been stoned beyond imaginable! He'd NEVER experienced anything like it! Inhaling deeply, The Devil licked his lips as he glanced over at Johnny. He cleared his throat before asking in a sheepish voice, "So, uh, can I buy an ounce of that stuff?" Johnny grinned and inhaled deeply upon his doobie once more before passing the it over to The Devil. Then he reached for his bag and said loudly over his shoulder, "Devil, just come on back if you ever want to catch a buzz! I done told you once you son of a bitch mine's the best there ever was!" He handed over a sealed bag of a premeasured ounce to The Devil who took it with a grin. "Fuck yeah!" The Devil finished his turn toking off the doobie and passed it back to Johnny. "So what's this epic shit called anyway?" Johnny finished stashing away his millions in cash before taking the doobie back. As he sat back and said, "Isn't it epic?! Oh yeah, its called-!" "HEY JOHNNY! YOU'RE THE MAN!" Johnny's attention was taken by a passing group of people, all waving. Johnny grinned and waved. "No, YOU'RE the man! Loving the bud?" "Fuck yeah!" As they wandered off, Johnny sat back and laughed before taking another hit. "Great guys. Did they buy from you too?" The Devil nodded as he opened up his bag and began to roll up more doobies to smoke. "Yeah...shit, we should mix some of these too..." "Sounds great!" "Hey....weren't you saying something before?" "Erm...was I?" "Yeah, you were. I asked something didn't I?" "I...don't know. I guess it wasn't important if we can't remember." "I guess not! Here, take another hit!" "Don't mind if I do!" And from there, The Devil and Johnny sat side by side, smoking all afternoon and into the evening. They fired up doobies one by one and they didn't stop til the bag was done! ... Epilogue... ... The sun was setting over the island of Jamaica and The Devil and Johnny were still lounging side by side on the beach after hours and hours of nonstop blazing through the most amazing smoke ever! Absolutely chill and relaxed, they were feeling gooooooood. "And...and...did you know that my granny is the one who gave me my first hit of pot?!" Johnny declared loudly to which The Devil blinked then laughed. "NO WAY!" "WAY!" "You granny's a stoner?!" "Yeah! She gets high all the time! Here, hold on!" And Johnny whipped out his cell phone, The Devil peeking over his shoulder as he hit speed dial on the phone. "What are you doing?" The Devil slurred as Johnny hit SPEAKERPHONE. "Calling Granny!" he explained as the phone rang. "Why hello there, Johnny!" came an older woman's voice as the phone connected. "Hi Granny, I have a question for you. I'm sitting here with a friend and he doesn't believe me." "What's that, Sweetheart?" "Granny, do you get high?" "Yes, I do!" And suddenly both The Devil and Johnny burst out into laughter! It was a minute later that Johnny hung up the phone with his granny and set it aside. He reached for the doobie that was previously lit but found it was pretty much done. "Well, looks like this one's about done. Got anything else ready to fire up, Devil?" The Devil smirked and nudged Johnny, holding out his personal favorite bong which was packed full of weed ready to be hit. It was the rainbow, very obvious penis shaped bong! "Here," The Devil said with a hint of a suggestive tone, "take a hit off my-" And then The Devil coughed hard twice out of nowhere and finished with very little air, "-ong!" Johnny's eyes widened. He stared at The Devil as his face paled. "Did you just say 'DONG?!'" "What?! No! I said 'BONG!' we know where YOUR mind's at..." "You said-!" "JUST HIT MY FUCKING- (cough, cough) -ONG!" --- David Allen Coe or Travis Meyer (I don't think anyone fucking knows at this point) - The Devil Went to Jamaica Original Video/Song: My favorite (more modern) version of the video and same song: Disclaimer: This is a fanfic based off of Travis Meyer's "The Devil Went to Jamaica." I lay no claim or rights to the song or illustrations. Any opinions or portrayals portrayed in this story is written to follow along with the song's lyrics and story solely for entertainment purposes. And of course there will be a few twists because come on...its a fanfic! I SOLEMLY SWEAR THAT I WROTE THIS ENTIRE THING WHILE STONED OFF MY ASS! Also, thank you to Vin Raven-Mysterious/Be My Mannequin? Pose Store for posing with me as The Devil! You can check out his phenomenal photography in People in Photo! I also have to give credit to Vin for coming up with "stoner demon Daddy." It was too apt and brilliant not to put in! XD I also want to give a shout out to Jane Bang from SPACE CADET for these two amazing stoner poses! I have long admired Jane's natural style with her poses and I FINALLY had a chance to try them out, myself! I was really impressed how well both Vin and I fit in the all of the poses! They are part of the High Roller fatpack that comes with 10 awesome stoner/weed poses (both sits and stands) and 6 add on items such as a lighter w/ a flame, lit and unlit blunts, and half rolled doobies that you can rez or add to your avatar directly from your inventory. In this pack, I am using the Blunt 1 pose and Vin is using the Blunt 2 pose. I've been looking for a good set of stoner poses and Jane has LOTS of themed poses to choose from among her other fantastic poses. Definitely worth a look! You can find Jane's Flickr link in People in Photo!

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  • Published 01.22.22
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