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Current & Past Losses References

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posted by Bob alias shiroibasketshoes hopper on Sunday 12th of September 2021 12:23:20 AM

Firstly, Neil Sedaka and Michael Nesmith and Micky (not "Mickey") Dolenz of The Monkees are still alive, folks. Of course, Rest In Peace to all the 9/11/01 terrorists attacks victims. Here are two newspaper sections from today and some details of my own recent life. One of my cousins (my only male cousin) drowned in a backyard pool a few days ago. The reason’s a mystery; I was told he was a strong swimmer and that an autopsy would tell his father and sister more. A long personal email I sent to him months ago went unanswered and I never brought it up to him since then; I was respectfully giving him time. Now I’ll never know what he thought of it. I'm sure I'll feel sad about him every time I ever use my own backyard pool again. In 1977 I was the only family member who did not want a pool put in; I didn't want to lose the walnut tree, treehouse and tire swing. Now it'll never be heated again, it'll never have a cover again, but getting rid of it or draining it is unfeasible so I had been swimming some summer days in recent years, but not last year as I feared being maskless outside for an hour. I went in it just a few days so far this summer, just one of them the normal full hour. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow. I'm kind of surprised I haven't gone fully into "I'll never swim again" mentality, as all my life I've had a fear of drowning, heights and fire. I do think it is somewhat risky as my sense of balance has deteriorated and I am just one year younger than the drowned cousin. Am I bad to be angered (keeping it bottled up of course) at being asked, by a friend who didn't know him, things like "Did he hit his head?" It's no non-friend and non-relative's business, and obviously either I don't know (which is the case) or it might be too difficult to say. They seem to imply I should already know or should ask my uncle if that was the case; and my uncle likely does not know or if he does might not want to say. I asked my uncle if there is any chance it may have been foul play. My uncle sounded convinced there was no chance of that. So I believe him. Then a mall friend asked about foul play, I asserted that didn't happen, and she again speculated it did, trying to persuade me it might have been. I already have always felt stressed when people have tried to get me to impossibly believe and / or act in opposite ways, especially as was the case about the "Fusco fiasco" explained elsewhere in this site. So why would I want to be urged to believe in opposite ways about a recent relative's death of all things? The mall friend seemed to want me to disbelieve my only surviving uncle, who doesn't go to doctors due to being Christian Scientist, and who had relied on my drowned cousin for caretaking. I am not big on much modern technology; I’ll never own a cellphone etc.. I only got “Zoom” because of the funeral of my Uncle George I was closest to relationship-wise. My only living uncle, the drowned cousin’s father, never wanted a photo of him online. It just now occurred to me that he would likely have asked I not post any reference to the cousin’s death in a flickr post. However evil it makes me that I’m posting this anyway is how evil I am. I need to express some things about how I currently feel as it is not healthful to keep bottling so much up. I did just remove the first name of the drowned cousin. Well I think my uncle would believe the most important things is if I discuss it here, I say no name, location or other identifying features, and I think I am obeying that. The other thing I’ve used “Zoom” for was a couple of times with a flickr friend who wanted to Zoom with me and mostly for “Family Game Night,” which this deceased cousin always organized, sent announcements about and moderated. These events were very important to me, and were fun at times but also got into some painful topics. I always would have preferred that the family members would just talk about their lives instead, but was afraid to suggest that. I live alone with no nearby relatives, and those “Family Game Nights" on Zoom, which I frequently had to miss due to work schedules, were very important to me. Now I guess they are ended. The music store The Record Man is on my way to my complicated condition job, and I posted recently about its arson fire. Its owner Gary, shown in the photos, has not been able to come to the store for months due to health issues. I’m not asking for time off from work due to the death, as I know it needs me; I went to my scheduled work shift less than an hour after my mother died on May 21, 2012. I was going to buy a Neil Sedaka album I didn’t have, and because of the drowned cousin and "Family Game Night' ending, I made it "Solitaire.” Two things I wish I had included in this photo; one's a recent box set of The Carpenters I bought which has their version of “Solitaire” on it. Also a Christmas record “Christmas At The Fireside” which was among good condition old reject records I got for free from “The Record Man” store, and I’d have played this upcoming Christmas season except it just fell out of a stack I was carrying into the house and broke on the bathroom floor. There is still a major lack of mask wearing around here; it seems no one on this street but me wears masks. Here is a colorful stripes mask I’ve been wearing lately as part of the masking and usually double masking I do whenever I leave this property and am not in the car. Regarding The Monkees shirt, I have been so mentally flustered I did not realize I was folding up the bottom part of it, which says “2013 Tour” (after member Davy Jones’ death, before member Peter Tork’s death). Why it’s here: I recently started patronizing a local chain “Peet’s Coffee” more, (although I’ve never drunk coffee; I drink tea instead) because of a vegan breakfast sandwich they have. I enjoy their music mix generally. I was not watching TV much yet when “The Monkees” aired in first run episodes; I got interested in them initially when watching reruns in the 1970s. I heard the non-hit “Look Out (Here Comes Tomorrow)” the other day in that place (this morning, the Monkees’ non-hit “She”) ; one of many songs I’ve heard that sound uptempo musically but do not have all uptempo lyrics. I remarked approval to the barista staff guy about this and indicated it may be a good omen of a good day (as it was about 5:30 am) or a good day the next day. Actually it was my cousin who needed to “Look Out” to stay alive that day, which he didn’t do. One lyric is “oh how I wish tomorrow would never come.” The tomorrow was the day I got the call my cousin drowned. I considered including a link to that song in this post, but reading its lyrics now I am reminded of one that goes “I see all kinds of sorrow, wish I only loved one.” As a romantic feminist and one who never found romance, I don't want to promote a song with that lyric, that seemingly labels a female’s entirety as a human being as being a “kind of sorrow” if all that matters is how the guy feels and like he can get away with some sorts of disrespect as long as he says "I love you" too. My favorite early Monkees song is probably “Sometime In The Morning,” which was a hit in the Philippines and I don’t think anywhere else. Camoulfurge aka “Cutee Camel” a gift from Joy in the Philippines, is also included here. The day after the cousin drowned, a a creepy man was sexually harassing my female manager at my job. I spoke up to stop it and then he ended up twice violating me physically against my will. I mean a fist bump I was too slow thinking to resist and a giant hug while claiming to want to be my “friend.” (This reminded me of the man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and obscene gestured to me repeatedly in a Japantown San Francisco restroom and stalked me for days afterwards after the police acted like it was my fault and didn’t catch him.) I told him in a non-pleased tone that I had not been hugged since before Covid; he did not apologize and he did not move his mask up from his neck despite my gestures for him to do so. I need hugs these days to be able to cry; I've just psychologically become that way...but even before coVid-19 that was not happening because I have no local relatives. So for it to finally happen in an unwanted context from a predator is particularly disturbing and I already had a public breakdown in a supermarket about two weeks ago. I felt assaulted as well as endangered as his mask was down. I have no health insurance currently and no one checks up on me. He also said something disturbing about my drowned cousin he found out about. The police in that city were rude and dismissive to me before about my concerns about lack of mask wearing by managers in the mall. Having expressed condolences to those who died, I’ll add that how the 9/11/01 attacks affected me was my planned trip to Japan was postponed, meaning I lost my chance to see again and to say goodbye to J-pop singer Kana Yamazaki at a 9/13/01 concert before she retired to become a teacher. This was massively important to me to do at her last concert, partly as I was told a fan letter from me had moved her to tears. (But yes at least I didn't lose my life as others did.) The attacks happened while I was on my way to a broadcast retrieval service job where I studied blocks of TV time for commercials. So I scanned material from earlier that morning. Southwest Airlines was still using their campaign "A Symbol Of Freedom.” I thought “Oh they’re going to drop that instantly,” and they did; they continued with somber corporate image spots that only said “Southwest” at the end. My workplace closed at half past noon that day. The train had few people all seemingly silent. The next morning, I saw one of the newspaper headlines with tower attack images simply said “Bastards!” in big capital letters. These days when news media and others want us to “Never Forget” 9/11/01, why do the news media keep seemingly always referring to Covid-19 as “the pandemic” instead of “this pandemic”? “The pandemic” indicates it’s the first pandemic ever and implies past devastating pandemics, such as AIDS in the 1980s (and ongoing of course) did not happen, which I think is disrespectful to their victims. If in 2121 the Covid-19 is long gone and there is a different pandemic killing people, won’t we want them then to remember how Covid-19 is devastating people now? A newspaper editor friend, another big Neil Sedaka fan and generally very nice guy, answered my asking that with “I couldn’t care less.” But a few other friends saw my point. As for the album's Contemporary Keyboard reference, it became "Keyboard" and then folded in 2017. Its records were given to The Record Man who then lost many in the fire, but fortunately they file Neil Sedaka in Rock, not the burned Vocals section. As always, stay safe everyone! Thanks very much to all friends and kind people!

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