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posted by alias pickled_newt on Sunday 19th of December 2010 04:36:00 PM

I should have posted a festive photo as time for Christmas is only few days away . But I have to be honest ,my state at this moment is as gloom as this photo . Few weekends ago I received a txt message my uncle passed away . It was confirmed by a long phone call with a family member . He had a udden death. Brain tumour they said , without proper diagnostic procedures done only an one MRI scan the day befroe his death .I am still very sceptical of it ,but whatever it is ,it would not make so much difference any more. He’s gone . It came to me like a blow of a hammer . I can’t still reconcile with the truth he’s gone like a bubble . I have big extended family .When on vacation I don’t visit all of them . I only see a selected few ,and one of them was this uncle . I have many uncles but he is one of a kind . What distraught me was , I haven't visited him in the two occasions I had been in the Philippines , that of last year '09 and this year when I had the opportunity to do so. I've only seen him very briefly in 2007 family holiday . . My holiday in the country wasn't all about relaxing on the beaches . I was part continuing a little project I left of last year , which seemed stressful . My vacation to the Philippines last summer didn't feel like a holiday sometimes ; also had bought a car which nailed some of our days at Cebu . Perhaps ,I would not feel so deeply bad with it if I have seen him in his last moments . But he wasn’t known to be ill . My focus was diverted on so many things . There was a time I was about to go with my mother to see this Uncle but something came in the way and didn’t make it that day .I thought the next day will do , but my youngest daughter wasn’t well enough to go ,had catch some flu bug around ,which held us up for few days . I suppose there’s always hundreds of excuses I can state here .... I can only remember the good old days with this Uncle when I was a student . He was an old bachelor , no wife and kids to feed . On his pay day ,he gave away some pocket money to us / his nieces and nephews . Though it can be peanuts in equivalent of today’s sums but during those days it means so much when you’re a student with only meagre allowance. I remember him so well as a very kind man . One thing about him which gets my conscience , he was living alone , not surrounded with a big family . He would have been so happy to see us and the kids seeing how they’ve grown up . My eldest remembered him teaching her how to start lighter . My husband said ages ago he looks like his Uncle David from Cheshire . This is how I refer this Uncle sometimes “ David “ to my husband to quickly distinguished him from my few other uncles . Being too busy with so many things in our lives sometimes divert us out of focus from our main priorities ( people have different priorities in life ,I can’t assume we all have the same definitions of it ,but saying this from my personal perspective ) , which means taking care of human relationships we value most - our love ones . Sometimes ,it’s hard to realize how important someone is to us until we lost the person –-- forever . The hardest thing I ever experience is letting go and giving way to forgive myself . elanevk -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am contemplating a little flickr break soon for a change . I 'll try NOT to enjoy it too much to forget flickr all the way . My last flickr break started of January '07 , then came back posting again March '08 and on to date . I'll not be away too long as my last one. There are just times flickr just took so much of my spare moments that I am not able to do my other interests . This is a problem if you have several other things very interested in to do . I felt I am reaching the peak again , I needed some space away from the flickr uninterrupted in relative terms . :) This is only to inform ,if you don't see me commenting on your streams as often like before - that I am away . I'll be posting few more before my break and will try to visit all your streams .



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