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To Win a Knife Fight, You Must Be Willing to Be Stabbed

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posted by Patrick alias Immortal Thrill-Seeker on Sunday 19th of November 2006 04:15:55 PM

Another year, another 100 things about me. If you missed out on the first installment, go here. I’d love to see the evolution of man in time-lapse photography, from single-celled organism to today. I don’t believe that men think about sex every 7 seconds. Unless when the study was conducted, a naked woman passed by the doorway every 7 seconds. The first time I ever cleaned my own toilet was one of the most humiliating and disgusting times in my life. Staring into the heart of a fire is very relaxing to me I love when a young woman’s body glistens, whether it’s with sweat or she’s covered in baby oil. I’d like to milk a cow before I die My favourite flowers are: Calla lilies, heliconia, and tulips. I find it incredible that the human heart beats day and night without me even thinking about it. What a little champion! I find that meditation is the antidote to Murphy’s Law I pray for Jack Black’s demise. My favourite food is Chinese. Or Thai. Every time I pass a pretty girl, I wait for the breeze she creates to hit my nose, then I take in her scent. I still don’t own an iPod I think the Nissan 350Z is hotter than any Porsche on the road today. I agree, mean people suck. But, I’m tired of hearing about it. There are four qualities I’m constantly on the lookout for when meeting new people. Someone who is: 1) Intelligent 2) Well-Traveled 3) Open-minded 4) has a Sense of Wonder about the World. The first can be found relatively easily. The first two, a little less. The third is hard enough to find by itself, let alone combined with the first two. If the first three elements are in place, the fourth is nearly always there. I vote sporadically, but will try harder. If no one’s in the room, I’ll lick the plate clean of spaghetti sauce. I once held my breath until I passed out. I once woke up at night to the sound of, what I can only describe as, a cross between a pig squealing and a girl shrieking. Whatever it was, it ran passed my window fast. I also once awoke to the sound of someone breathing about 2 ½ feet away from my head, but no one was in the room. No matter which way I turned my head, the point of origin would not reveal itself. I ran out of the room. When I came back, it was gone. No matter how many years go by, I still feel 16 My older brother looks younger than me I hate when people utter the phrase, “Well… job security,” when faced with a pile of work. What kind of mutant mothers did you pop out of? And why are you all American? Get away from me! I can’t quite grasp why people are loyal to the companies they work for and tolerate mistreatment by so-called “superiors”. I think Jack Nicholson looks like a used car salesman when he’s sporting a mustache. I think grown men look funny driving Toyota Echoes and Yaris hatchbacks. If there’s any way for a guy to get laid less, than by not owning a car at all, it’s by owning one of these cars. Sex comes before reliability, my friend. I like when women cook for me. I think it's sweet. After discovering Zeppelin in 2003, absorbing their catalog of rock masterpieces, and concluding my obsession with them, I found it incredibly hard to listen to any other rock n’ roll music. They set the bar so high. My birthmark has all but disappeared I’m convinced meteorologists are overpaid hacks and should publicly apologize every time they’re wrong. I’ve never tried marijuana, want to try mushrooms, and that drug Sting spoke of in his book, Broken Music. Legalize it. What the hell, legalize ‘em all. I’ve listened to Cheech & Chong’s Greatest Hit well over a hundred times. I AM A MIGHTY OAK IN A FOREST OF SAPLINGS! I am a self-help survivor My favourite pizza topping is Canadian Bacon I’m amazed at how many erogenous zones women have. How a light nibble on an earlobe can make your body shudder with delight is beyond me, but I’m all for it! I think being employee of the month is tantamount to being called the best slave on the plantation. I have pleaded with something or someone outside myself to get me through tough times. I wish the people in my life well before I go to sleep every night I believe you can learn something from everyone, even those you hate. I desire peace most when I’m under the greatest stress I believe that those who are truly wise do not let age, sex, jealousy, or socio-economic status get in the way of learning from others. I’m often contrarian in conversation, not with the intent to argue, but either to bring another view to the table, or just to make a conversation fun with a completely-out-of-left-field idea. The more I talk about my greatness in a fun way, the more women smile and like me more. I’m an idea man. Golden showers don’t appeal to me personally, but I loved Dave Chappelle’s comedy sketch about R. Kelly peeing on girls. I’ve sang along with the song : ) I don’t have blind faith in expert opinions. I listen, but only believe if I feel what they say is true for me. I’ve become quite adept at reading the body language of people in downtown Portland. I can tell from blocks away, with a high degree of accuracy, who’s going to ask me for change, a smoke, to sign a petition, sign up for OSPIRG, or buy a Street Roots. I walk fast. The worst people to pass, in general, are white people. They rarely give an inch (give an inch, make a friend). One of my goals as a kid was to have $100 in one bank in each of the U.S. states. I stuck my fingers in a fan with a metal blade when I was a kid. From what I’m told, the ends of three fingers were dangling from their stumps. New Orleans has a special place near my heart. I love beignets The three things I think about most are: 1) how to support myself without working for someone else. 2) photography 3) women & humour (I can’t separate the two) Levi’s 501’s are my favourite jeans. I discovered the power of Karma in ‘95 I once knew the most wonderful woman in the world. Unfortunately, she was married. Otherwise, you’d be reading the words of the happiest man in the world. I believe evolution works like an exponential moving average. More emphasis is placed on the most recent generation’s strengths and abilities than all previous generations to deal best with today’s challenges. But, they’re all part of the mix. I also believe our DNA isn’t static and changes as we go through life. Actually, I read a couple years back that my belief was proven true. I’m a little more intelligent than I let on I fear the world is becoming culturally homogenous I wonder why only the Chinese and Italians get a section of town named after their country. I wonder why there’s no cheese in Chinese food. Anybody? I’ve found that the rain in Spain really does fall mainly on the plain Root to tip: 6 and a half inches. I’ve never been caught. You know. I once had a dream where I had a gun, and everything I shot turned into a bubble gum bubble that expanded a few feet before it exploded. I thought the first 2 Harry Potter movies were terrible, skipped the 3rd, and enjoyed the 4th. Ralph Fiennes was an excellent choice to play Voldemort. I don’t often know if my travels are the result of my need to take pictures or if my picture taking is the result of my need to travel. I’d like to run in a marathon some day. I’ve driven from coast to coast. I’ve not yet made a single print of any one of my digital pictures I’ve never been to an opera I think root beer floats are overrated. Ice-cream is great. Root beer is great. Together the pair makes an abusive couple. I try to appreciate people for who they are and not concern myself with what they’re not. I think the intricacy of snowflakes is overwhelmingly beautiful. I had one of the best sandwiches of my life at a 7-Eleven in Las Vegas Political correctness offends me and I’m suing for pain and suffering I don’t know if I could be a comedian, but I think I could pitch some good ideas I’d like to spin saltwater taffy all alone in an attic with a lone 60 watt bulb and jazz playing in the background. I have a romantic vision of getting my pool game to a high level and touring America’s pool halls and meeting people. I have another romantic vision of playing slide guitar down on the bayou to the alligators and swamp frogs. I make myself laugh more than other people make me laugh. One of my favourite quotes from LOTR was Gandalf telling Frodo, “Do not be too eager to deal out death and judgment.” Awesome! I love going somewhere cool I’ve been before and taking someone who’s never been. Seeing the world through another’s eyes is a kick. I’ve noticed that people like to see the wonderful qualities about themselves reflected back to them through another’s eyes. I have a theory that we’re all gods who were bored because we knew everything there was to know, so we created this world where we could temporarily forget all we knew and see the world with new eyes. I believe that time goes faster as you get older because you’re seeing and experiencing fewer and fewer new things that create the memories that create your sense of time. The challenge is to always be looking at things in a new way, from a different perspective, and magnify the intensity of a memory. Time can be slowed. I’ve done it. I believe that beginner’s luck is the universe’s way of encouraging you to try new things. I wonder why there’s a universal law stating that it takes more effort to create something than to destroy it. I’m a seeker of profound wisdom I understand the benefits of arrogance and humility I think conversation skills should be taught in school I hate when people use the word “should” I think today’s school system is behind the times I highly appreciate the art of comedy I believe there’s no form of comedy more pure or raw than stand-up. It’s the Texas No-Limit Hold ‘em of the art. I believe that a big part of success is just showing up I love dates. The fruit. I believe that a pretty girl can never be too girly. I don’t think there’s a single move a beautiful woman can make that isn’t cute. When I see old dilapidated, abandoned, singular houses by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, I wonder about the big dreams the first owners must have had when they settled there and how their dreams must have dried up. I love watching Jimmy Page play guitar. I love the call-to-march opening drum beat of Sunday Bloody Sunday I think the homo-erotic relationship between Bono and The Edge is intriguing I believe in going too far. You’ll never know where the edge is unless you do. Fubuki is my all-time favourite Flickr Hero. He hits every note that sings to my heart and mind. I think black and white shots of old dolls are creepily compelling

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  • Published 01.24.22
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