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It is possible that this standing on the wrong side of life. If so, it would be easy to simply cross to the other side. But something keeps me inert, almost like a spectator on this side.

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posted by Venicio Armin alias a.venicioarmin on Tuesday 22nd of December 2020 12:59:53 PM

It is possible that this standing on the wrong side of life. If so, it would be easy to simply cross to the other side. But something keeps me inert, almost like a spectator on this side. What I see in front of me is too difficult to assimilate. I could say that I have always been on this side, even when very close friends invited me, almost dragged me to the other side. I have lost several of them, simply because I gave my reasons. Life should be simpler, in any case I thought so when I was still a being who was just beginning to decipher where the path I should walk was. I will not deny it, I have found myself several times in crossroads that did not allow me to see clearly, however, by instinct perhaps, then by information, I was in my way, very far, but so far from the rest of my acquaintances and as I said, of friends. It was not always that way, there were stages where by some enigmatic movement of the threads that support our movements, everything seemed simpler, happiness was something that was simply desired and achieved. In other words, to dream and see that a world as I imagined it was possible. The problem is that I grew up, matured, and walked a lot. The paths I chose were not in a straight line, on the contrary.... thinking about it in perspective, I never decided that I had so many curves. I got lost several times, to a point where I looked around and didn't understand, what it was all about. Then came the betrayals, the heartbreaks, the great pains of the soul. I believe in eternal love, in the kindness of some people, in that speaking it is possible, that we understand each other, I believe in solidarity, in helping the fellow man when he needs it, I believe that looking into the eyes is a dogma, I believe that taking care of our elders is an obligation and a right that they earned, I believe that my soul is not for sale, that my beliefs are not negotiable, that meritocracy is a lie, it is not the same to be born in a house where love caressed our being, than to be born in a poor neighborhood, where 10 people live in two rooms. I could go on listing my reasons why I am on this path of life. But if something was missing so that I would never, ever cross over to the other side, the pandemic would come. The second one in 100 years, only the first one, besides killing more than 50 million people, the information received was minimal. Supposedly, in the 21st century, with the technology available to almost everyone, a much less deadly pandemic than the so-called Spanish fever in 1919 would give us an advantage. It is not necessary to clarify that it was the other way around, we were submerged in a rough sea where it is not possible to distinguish which is the truth. As a result of all this, humanity was threatened, is threatened by the worst of motives "fear", then everything that I feared so much was established in front of my eyes. Ideology, politics and of course the big business of the laboratories, finds us divided more than ever. There are the denials, the anti-quarantine, the anti-vaccinations, the anti-everything. The impoverished middle classes have fallen into poverty, and it is known that unfortunately the poor have behaviors of their undeserved place in society but understand and know how to manage because they were born and will die in poverty. However, the one who was middle class and fell into misery, does not know nor want to share that place, because as we all know, the middle classes in the world look upwards, very, very far away, as much as possible from a poor person. The GDP of the underdeveloped countries fell by an average of 15% and the developed countries by an average of 10%. This time, it happened to the whole world, but we all know, who will be able to get out of this damn situation first. The poor countries will be even poorer. In my novel I write about the two wars and those generations not only lived destruction, death in trenches where you could breathe Dante's hell. Also the crisis of 1930. However, the center of my novel is the Partisans. They are the unrecognized heroes, those who saved Italy, they were young people from 18 to over 70 years old. More than 200,000 thousand formed an urban guerrilla and another one in the mountains. They are my heroes, they are what I wish I had known. By their devotion, ethics, courage, unity and sense of belonging to a fatherland sold to the Nazis, they left a wonderful teaching: they joined and won. That's why it's so hard for me to cross the path. The misery of these times forces me to beware of anything that is contrary to those values. Sometimes I think I should have been born 80 years earlier. Es posible que este parado en la vereda equivoca de la vida. De ser así sería fácil simplemente cruzo al otro lado. Pero algo me mantiene inerte, casi como un espectador de este lado. Lo que veo en frente, es demasiado difícil de asimilar. Podría decir que siempre he estado de este lado, inclusive cuando amigos muy cercanos, me invitaban, casi me arrastraban al otro lado. He perdido varios de ellos, simplemente por dar mis razones. La vida debería ser mas simple, en todo caso así lo pensaba cuando era aún, un ser que recién comenzaba a descifrar por donde era el camino que debía caminar. No lo negare, me he encontrado varias veces en encrucijadas que no me permitían ver con claridad, sin embargo, por instinto tal vez, luego por información, me quedaba en mi camino, muy lejos , pero tan lejos del resto de mis conocidos y como dije, de amigos. No siempre fue de esa manera hubo etapas donde por algún enigmático movimiento de los hilos que sostienen nuestros movimientos, todo parecía mas sencillo, la felicidad era algo que simplemente se deseaba y se conseguía. Dicho de otra forma, soñar y ver que era posible un mundo, tal como lo imaginaba. El problema es que crecí, madure, y camine mucho. Los senderos que elegía no eran en línea recta, por lo contrario….pensándolo en perspectiva, nunca decidí que tuviera tantas curvas. Me he perdido varias veces, A un punto donde miraba a mí alrededor y no entendía, que era todo eso. Llegaron las traiciones, los desamores, grandes dolores del alma. Creo en el amor eterno, en la bondad de algunas personas, en que hablando es posible, que nos entendamos, creo en la solidaridad, en ayudar al semejante cuando lo necesita, creo que mirar a los ojos es un dogma, creo que cuidar a nuestros mayores es una obligación y un derecho que ellos se ganaron, creo que mi alma no se vende, que mis creencias no se negocian, que la meritocracia es una mentira, no es lo mismo nacer en una casa donde el amor acariciaba nuestro ser, que nacer en un barrio carenciado, donde viven 10 personas en dos habitaciones. Podría seguir enumerando mis razones porque estoy en esta vereda de la vida. Pero si algo faltaba para que nunca, pero nunca, cruce al otro lado llego la pandemia. La segunda en 100 años, solo que la primera además de matar a mas de 50 millones de personas, la información que se recibía era mínima. Supuestamente, en el siglo XXI, con la tecnología al alcance de casi todos, una pandemia mucho menos mortal que la llamada fiebre Española en 1919, nos daría una ventaja. No es necesario aclarar que fue a la inversa nos sumergieron en un mar revuelto donde no se puede distinguir cual es la verdad. Como resultado de todo esto, la humanidad se vio amenazada, se encuentra amenazada por el peor de los motivos “el miedo”, entonces todo aquello que tanto temía se estableció frente a mis ojos. Las ideología, la política y por supuesto el gran negocio de los laboratorios, nos encuentra divididos mas que nunca. Están los negacioncitas, los anti cuarentena, los anti vacunas, los anti todo. Las clases medias empobrecidas, cayeron en la pobreza, y es sabido que lamentablemente el pobre tiene las conductas de su lugar inmerecido en la sociedad pero entiende y sabe manejarse pues nació y morirá en la pobreza. Sin embargo el que era clase media y cayó en la miseria, no sabe ni quiere, compartir ese lugar , pues como todos sabemos las clases medias en el mundo miran hacia arriba, muy , pero muy lejos , lo mas posible de un pobre. El PBI de los países sub desarrollados cayo en promedio 15 % y los países desarrollados 10 % promedio. Esta vez, les ocurrió al mundo entero, pero todos sabemos, quienes podrán salir primero de esta maldita situación. Los países pobres serán mas pobres aún. En mi novela escribo sobre las dos guerras y esas generaciones no solo vivieron la destrucción, la muerte en trincheras donde se respiraba el infierno de Dante. También la crisis del 1930. Sin embargo el centro de mi novela son los Partisanos. Ellos son los héroes no reconocidos, los que salvaron a Italia, ellos eran jóvenes de 18 años hasta mayores de 70 años. Mas de 200.000 mil formaron una guerrilla urbana y otra en las montañas. Ellos son mis héroes, son lo que desearía haber conocido. Por su entrega, su ética, su valor, su unidad, su sentido de pertenecía a una patria vendida a los nazis Ellos dejaron una maravillosa enseñanza: se unieron y ganaron. Por eso me cuesta tanto cruzar la vereda. La miserabilidad de estos tiempos, me obliga a cuidarme de todo aquello que es contrario a eso valores. A veces pienso que debería haber nacido 80 años antes.



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  • Published 10.05.22
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