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Dungeons & Dragnets

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posted by alias Gallisuchus on Saturday 13th of October 2018 05:17:32 PM

Ext. Somewhere in the Carpathians of Hungary - Well past sundown *Aerial shot gliding above the towering grey crags of the mountain range. Dense fog ominously crowns each peak. The baying of wolves emanates throughout the creaking evergreens blanketing the landscape. Camera gradually hones in on an ebony castle tucked away in this wilderness, equally dilapidated and imposing. We pass through an arrowslit in the fortress’ stone to arrive at an eerie conference. Six inhabitants of the chamber are seated around an angular stone slab, odd trinkets and items strewn about, as though some type of rite is taking place. One figure, who even in the darkness can be seen cloaked in a crimson friar’s tunic, rises from his seat, legs and arms unnaturally stick-straight. He raises a torch with little more than a dimming ember left inside it. *He reveals a small lighter from within his other sleeve and begins irritably striking the mechanism.* Niccolai Tepes, the Mad Monk: Gaaah, thisss cheap waxss! I shhhould upgrade to fluorescccentsss. *The additional illumination unmasks the remainder of the company; Doctors Death and No-Face. Killer Moth. Eraser. And yours truly.* Drury Walker, Killer Moth: C’mon, let’s have some light here! Karl Hellfern, Doctor Death (To Tepes): Just not sehr close to hem, oder he vill staht droowling again. Walker: Hey, I wanna get on with the game; Ironically, that’s not a crime. *We few are assembled for our annual commemoration of the pioneers of supervillainy in Gotham City, home to the Batman. Tepes insisted on hosting this year, in his remote abode, hence numerous absences. Exclusive to this particular congregation as well, our choice to engage in “dungeon-crawl” boardgames. For devout followers of the endeavors of I, the dreaded Clayface, one might find this a degrading tragedy. I plead for your patience with my schemes.* Myself (looking over the rulebook once more, that which, by its size, could easily be mistaken for the complete documented history of modern filmmaking): Could we not have indulged in poker once again? Lenny Fiasco, the Eraser: If we all wanted you and Mister No-Face to royally trounce us again, we would have. I mean, the guidelines clearly didn’t have supervillains in mind when they failed to mention that having perceptible facial expressions is mandatory to the gameplay. Bartholomew Magan, Doctor No-Face: DGRR NH-FMMS. Fiasco: “DOCTOR”, sorry. Tepes: Let usss not bicker; we shhhould be reveling in our shhhared criminal sssuccesss azzz of late. Sssurely I am not the only one of our allianccce with a recccent victory under my belt? *Magan takes his turn in the game, moving his demigod playing piece to a recently-revealed cave full of treasure and traps.* Hellfern (high and mighty): Curtainly NICHT, mein Blut-sucking Freund! No doubt mein achievements are das beste of diese group. Tepes: Sseee? Immediate hossstility. We shhhould really work on our camaraderie, with the sssurplusss of heroesss nowadaysss. Myself: Be heedful of the notion that Dr. Hellfern is of course our senior member. Perhaps we could all take note of his expertise in the subject of diabolical plots. Walker: Suck-up. Hellfern: Danke, Karlo, aber ich hardly require suppowrt from eine Kartoffelkopf. *Walker fumbles the dice, rolling a hand that allows his hoplite character to wound Hellfern’s druid. Fiasco slowly looks up from his strategizing.* Walker: Huzzah! Hellfern: NEIN! Fiasco: Hang on, back up. What on earth just came out of his mouth? Myself: To my knowledge, he called me a potato-head. Tepes: … You took that sssurprissingly well. I commend you. Myself: Nonsense. When have I been one to be enraged by a harmless jest? It necessitates an earnest insult to my profession if one wishes to make me… testy. *In an instance of luck, I too roll a fruitful hand. My templar summons a wyvern to ward off Walker’s assault on Hellfern.* Hellfern: Eh? Do you realize vas you haff just done? Walker: For real, Basil? I might’ve had him by next round! Myself: It’s all deliberate strategy, I assure you. *Hellfern takes the dice, eyeing me through his monocle as he rolls.* Fiasco: Anyway, back to the topic of our latest and greatest escapades, I made off with a hefty sum JUST from holding up an elementary school! Back to school season; lots of lunch money, you know. Poor Batman never saw THAT coming, boy… Tepes: You really went for the brand-new pencccil kitsss, didn’t you? Fiasco: SO WHAT IF I DI- *Magan begins to stand, to mime out his own recent endeavors.* Walker: Wait, don’t tell me… You busted some statues’ faces off, right? Magan (slumping back down to his seat): Yhg thngk yrr sm smrrt… Myself (laughing): Come now, is this truly the extent of our criminal activity as of late? Hellfern, you can of course redeem us with a sample of your upcoming stratagem… Hellfern (fighting an urge): Ich… shoold nicht say anysing… *Tepes rolls to see if his lycan can revert into a human this round, in order to go unnoticed in a town, but in this instance the game is unforgiving.* Tepes: BAH! That’sss not how my powersss work! I shhhouldn’t have to wait for sssilly phasssesss. Walker: That reminds me, what I’VE been up to is genetically reengineering moths native to Gotham to become stronger and hostile when exposed to moonlight. A good-sized swarm of them might be able to push someone off balance or mess up someone's wardrobe if they g- Hellfern: ICH CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE! You simpletohns, fiddling about mit children’s refvenge tactics! Ich habe recently collaboratet mit eine Dr. Herbert West. Togesser ve are unlocking diese secrets of the unDEADT! Top thet! Walker: Well excuse me, we’ve got ourselves a badass over here. Myself: How very interesting. “A Dr. Herbert West”, you said, perfecting the living corpse? What do you say about that, Magan? Oh, that’s right; you don’t say. *Magan throws his arms in the air, then scrambles for Fiasco’s notepad. He furiously scribbles at the paper, and tosses it to my end of the table. Walker instead reads it.* Walker: “Go fill a hole, you plasmic mass of dogsh-“ Hellfern (regretful): Ich habe said zu viel; too mahch! It vas all intended to be classifiet… Tepes: No shhhame in sssome gloating, old friend; your sssecret will not leave thisss room. A toassst to your progressssssive villainy! *Fiasco rolls for a chance card.* Fiasco: “Your shaman has died of dysentery.” Dandy. *** *An hour later, the gathering is broken, farewells made. Walker was crowned champion of our little game, but I have triumphed at my own task. Dr. Herbert West. That name was all I had needed to ascertain that evening. Rather, all that my accomplice had use for. *Bartholomew Magan, Doctor No-Face, has kept a brisk pace with me on my stroll away from Tepes’ castle, beneath the dismal canopy of the forest. We are a safe distance away now.* The Question (Peeling Magan’s ascot from his neck in exchange for a fedora atop his head): That must've been an odd experience for you, NOT being the one with a disguise for once. Myself: Oh, I too had a disguise, Question. Buttering up that insufferable “Doctor Death”… Do you know he prides himself with being the first supervillain to be DEFEATED by the Bat? What an utter simp. Question: So tell me, did I do the criminal mind justice? Myself: In sincerity, I quite prefer you as a silent villain, too this prattling, prying vigilante. Question (dripping sarcasm): I suppose you would have acquired a taste for more theatrical heroes. Would you like me to start riding a motorcycle and wear a helmet that shoots lasers? Myself (halting my stride): Enough. You have the name, now I must implore; what is its significance? Question (now leading our path): Months of digging, and I only had his reputation and codename to go by: “The Re-Animator”. A newcomer to Hub City. Myself: Yes, and that would be substantial information for hunting him down, were you at all a decent investigator. Therefor, you have other business with West beyond putting him behind bars. Question (deadly serious tone): I have reasonable suspicions that he’s my doppelgänger from another Earth. Myself: Naturally, you jest. Question: I scrounge. I’ve found out just about everything the world doesn’t want found out. In essence, I know enough to never have the NEED to jest. Myself (satisfied): It would indeed explain your desperation. With that, I would not only ask for my payment for assisting you, but additionally, remind you that blackmailing me into betraying fellow criminals, with no intentions of keeping your end of the bargain, is most foolish. Bodies deposited in woods, as you know, can go undiscovered for years. Question (sighing): So untrusting, you and your type. One day I’ll crack that mystery too. *He pulls Fiasco’s swiped notepad out his jacket, jotting down the information I need.* Question (thrusting the pad at me): This is what I uncovered. … This is the location of your son. } Part 2 underway. Inspired by FeelOkayInc, this storyline is intended to conceptualize how Basil Karlo fits into the Lego DC Flickrverse, and his relations, blood or otherwise, with other Clayfaces. {



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Children's Place Medicine Hat,
Children's Place Metairie,
Children's Place Merchandise Credit Balance,
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  • Published 08.12.22
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